My home, The Falkland Islands

To understand a little more about me and our family, you need to know about where we live. We live on a remote British overseas territory called The Falkland Islands. It’s situated at the bottom of the South Atlantic, approximately 500km from South America with a population of around 3000 people. Tiny basically! To put things into perspective for you, there is no McDonalds here, in fact no branded stores of any kind. Check out where we are here. The Falkland Islands are probably most famous for the war between Britain and Argentina in 1982, Britain won in case you were in any doubt. Whilst it seems like the matter was settled a long time ago the scars remain and our sovereignty is constantly questioned to this day. We are fiercely determined to show the world our unique culture and that we wish to remain a British country forever.

 

Day to day life

Ours lives are much the same as anyone’s I suppose. We work, we come home, we go out on the weekends, we visit friends, perhaps see a penguin or two. You know, the usual. Oh yes, that’s right. We have penguins, and seals and whales and a whole heap of other amazing wildlife. It’s quite the tourist destination. The nearest beaches are just a few minutes away and whilst it never really gets to swimming temperatures it is a gorgeous place to sit. You can get quite the tan here! Please do slap on the sun cream though. Bit of a hole in the ozone layer above us. At the moment I’m on maternity leave so our days are filled with various baby sessions including baby swimming, and singing when we can make it. We try to go out at least once a day even if it’s just to pop to the shop to get some milk. Often we’ll pop into see friends, especially all the new friends we’ve made who have children of a similar age. I’m proud to say that instead of losing friends since becoming a mum I have gained so many more. On the rare, stunning days we go for a walk. Sometimes it’s into town to sit on the green with an ice lolly, sometimes it’s a walk around gypsy cove in the carrier. As winter draws in I wonder how much we’ll be getting out and about, but we’ll try.

 

Winter is coming! This was the week that Arya was born. One the day she was born she brought the first big snow of the year. Daughter of winter and all that.

The pros and the cons

There are many amazing things about living here but there can also be some negatives to, here’s a handy list (in my opinion):

Pros:

• Amazing wildlife
• Safe place to live and bring up children
• Close community
• Nothing is far away (hospital is a 2 minute drive, perfect when in labour!)
• Stunning scenery
• Plenty of places to ride a motorbike (this is what my partner would say!)

Cons:

• The UK is an 18hr flight away and I’m terrified of flying!
• Majority of products are imported = expensive
• Expensive internet, I’m talking £180 for 30gb
• Close community, whilst amazing for support often comes with a whole bunch of awful rumours
• Expensive to leave the islands

Whilst it can be expensive to live here it can also be cheaper in lots of ways. There is no shopping centre to spend your money in (although online shopping is much better now if you can afford the internet!), there are many things you can do that don’t involve any cost at all and the fact that is a safe, breathtaking and friendly place to live far outweighs the negatives.

Childhood

My childhood was filled with days playing on the farm out at Teal Inlet, getting dirty, running with the dogs, feeding the chickens and climbing the the odd tree hanging around. Being big on wildlife as a kid living in the Falklands was possibly the greatest place to grow up. I felt safe and was able to walk to friends houses and shops without fear. I’m excited to watch Arya grow up in the same place as me. I hope that she will be much braver than me however.

Small Island Parent

This parenting thing is new to me, but I’ll share how I’m finding being a parent on a small island…so far! With Stanley being so small it’s great that nothing is far away. Knowing that if Arya has a meltdown in the shop it won’t take me long to get home, even though I worried about it constantly in the early days. Some days Arya has screamed from leaving the shop to getting home, it only takes 5 minutes at most but they’ve been the longest 5 minutes of my life so I can’t imagine having to do that traveling down a motorway and not being able to even stop to check on her or reassure her. Another positive is that there are lots of people that I can go and visit each day. We do love a visit and it’s good for Arya to see other people instead of staring at my face all day, poor girl. Luckily I’ve made lots of friends with people that live on my street so we can just pop out in the carrier almost any time of the day. If we’re not visiting friends or going for a walk our super health visitor has set up various play group sessions which we try and catch (always seem to miss story time as it’s right at nap time! darn!) and there are now baby and toddler swim sessions twice a week. I also have some ideas of my own that I would like to set up. The trouble is with me I have a million idea and not enough time to put them all into practice. This is exactly why I forget to eat!

Falkland Islands Button picture, another popular item that I create

I realise this is an incredibly short insight into life in the Falklands, but I’ll share more as time goes by.

Inheritance, spend it or save it for the kids?

See this face, it’s my thinking face

Like many Mums, I love a good Loose Women session and sharing my thoughts with Arya doesn’t get too much response just yet. Unless you count the ooohhhs and ahhhhs or a favourite ‘dada dada’. One of the topics that came up is something I’ve thought about before. Would you spend the money you’ve earnt, or would you save it for your kids?

Now my own parents (divorced and remarried) have differing views on this. One set will use their money and all of the kids will get a equal share of what is left, if anything. The other set would leave something for us (I’m assuming this is still their view!). Now I’d like it to be clear that I don’t expect anything from them. I’ve been lucky enough that they have always been supportive both emotionally and financially my whole life. It’s supported me to get a good job and build my own house. My partner also has a good job so there is no need for us to hold onto the hope of receiving any inheritance.

My Dad, clearly loving life. Perhaps he’s just thinking ‘Finally I’ll get her out of my hair’

What would I do? Well I’m leaning towards the ‘leave my kids a nest egg’ view. Like lots of parents we’ve also started a bank account for our daughter. It’s something I never had but again, I was lucky enough that my parents were in a position to help financially and our government pays for our studies. I had no money worries! However that might not be the same situation for Arya. Perhaps our government won’t always be able to fund students? Maybe it will be reduced? Maybe we won’t be in a position to help like my parents were? So we started a bank account.

Whilst that’s different to inheritance I think it goes hand in hand. Basically right now my mindset is that I want to help her (and any other future kids) with money if they need it. Sure kids can become entitled if they know they are getting x amount of money and it’s something I’d like to avoid. There is a way of showing your kids that you will always help them, whilst also ensuring they develop a good work ethic. My parents managed it! I was never made to get a job as a youngster, I didn’t really have to help out around the house (although these are things I would like my daughter to do), yet but some form of magic here I am! A teacher, a house and my own family with a good future ahead of us.

I think it’s important to see your parents work hard, whether they have a career, various jobs or are a stay at home parent. All jobs are tough for various reasons. I know I’m finding being a stay at home parent far harder than teaching! I also think it’s important that you feel supported and encouraged to be what you want to be in this world, and that it’s ok not to fit the mould.

Whilst I want to help out financially that also doesn’t mean that we are going to live our lives saving and barely getting by just to build up some lump sum of money. I’d like to find a balance where we use and enjoy our money as a family, whilst also having a little set aside. I’m aware life happens and unexpected issues arise all the time, but I’m thinking in an ideal situation here. Perhaps the money would be used up before we go, maybe on their wedding, or a house, who knows!

Or maybe all the money will be used up funding my gaming addiction when I finally get some time again and I’ll just have to give help in the form of cuddles. Cuddles and a cup of tea solves all of life’s programs right?!?

So, what would you do?

The sweetest little spoon

Unexpected free time

That moment when your step mum texts to say ‘Would you like me to have Arya for a bit this afternoon?’ …… um HELL YES! Wait that’s too enthusiastic, better rein that in. ‘If you could that would be super, thanks’. I love Arya to pieces but knowing I’m going to get some time to get on with things without, either having to have her attached to me, or moving her between various bouncers and walkers until she gets fed up is just like a tiny piece of heaven! Then in creeps the guilt for being happy at the prospect of a little time to myself. It’s a vicious cycle.

Baby wearing is a lifesaver

What did I do with that small window of opportunity??? Well, lots of things!

I managed to finish this letter frame. Not finished in the picture of course!

These letter frames are my most popular product

I also made this customised phone case for a customer. I’d very much like to keep it for myself ! 🦄🌈🍭

Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn

Then I made a few bows up! I cut them out at the beginning of the week whilst watching Broadchurch. It’s the one night of the week I can sneek away from Arya at bed time. These are all new fabrics that arrived a few weeks ago and I’ve been dying to play with them.

I have a bit of a unicorn obsession and it’s spreading across the Falklands

After all that I have a wonderful soak in the bath. It’s funny how you never really appreciate the time you had before having a child. Everyone tells you to enjoy it, and you do, but it’s certainly hard to truly understand until that time is no longer available. On the other hand, I totally love that my days are now filled with Arya and was ready to take on this new role.

After my amazing dip I quickly ran around putting more washing on and started making supper just as Arya arrived back home. It’s a wonderful feeling when they wave their arms at you because they are excited to see you, even when they’ve only been gone for a couple of hours. We both enjoyed our little break. It’s important to look after ourselves and it is alright to look forward to some time alone. It’s something I’m not very good at doing but I’ll keep trying!

Throw the books away!

Well, this is a bit scary. Not ‘jump out of a plane’ scary, but you know, close. I’m currently stuck under my sleeping baby, again, which is what brings me to write this blog in the first place. I’ve tried lots of things whilst Arya sleeps on me. Some are easy, I can read a good book, catch up on Vikings, listen to music. Lovely relaxing things whilst the dishes fester in the sink. What I would really love to be doing is catching up on my orders for my craft business but trying to manipulate tiny rhinestones whilst balancing a baby is rather difficult past the newborn stage! So I needed another outlet and here I am.

First time mum

Arya the day after she was born. She scratched herself on the way out!

In this blog I’d like to share my journey about being a first time mum. I can hear you, I’ve thought the same. What the freaking hell does she know? She’s a first time mum, her baby is so young, she’s got so far to go yet. You’re right! Like Jon Snow, I also know nothing. In fact, not true. I know how to put on nappies (disposable, sorry Earth), dress my baby, let her eat and get her to sleep. I’m also pretty awesome at making her laugh now, so I know a couple of things. I’m not here to give advice and I’m certainly not here to make anyone feel shitty about their choices because believe me I get that on a day to day basis and it sucks. I’m here to reach out to the other Mums like me, that found things way harder than they expected and found themselves parenting in a completely different way to what they had in mind.

Me before Arya

It’s a bit mad to think there was a life before Arya arrived, but there was honest! I’m a teacher, I have a small craft business and I enjoyed going out friends until I got pregnant. At the age of 18 I left my home (more about that later) and went to the UK to study. Life was pretty awesome, I partied hard, traveled, worked hard, made crazy friends, got tattoos, dyed my hair and ate way too much pizza. I finally returned home four years ago to take up a post at our infant and junior school, reconnected with my partner and built a house (well my dad did, but I paid him for it!) I was a fairly confident person after my time away, I felt good about myself and sure about what I wanted in life. Oh how that was about to change!

‘You’ll make a rod for your own back’ and other awful things people say

From the moment everyone finds out you are pregnant you are subjected to endless amounts of unsolicited advice. Most people mean well and I’ll honest, it feels great to feel like you know more about a subject than someone else, you feel like it’s your duty to share what you have found out so that others don’t go through the same thing. That’s one of the reasons why I’m even writing a blog in the first place. But there is certainly a way of going about it and making someone feel like an idiot isn’t alright. I’m sure I’ve done it before and I am so sorry! People comment on what you eat, your size (before and after pregnancy), how and where your baby sleeps and my ‘favourite’ if your child is a ‘good’ baby.

Here’s a list of things that have made my blood boil…so far:

• “Are you sure you can eat prawns?”
• “Does she sleep all night?” (I still get this now but jeez she was only a few weeks old when it started!)
• “Is she a good baby?”
• “Are you some kind of hippy?” In response to me talking about baby wearing and baby led weaning
• “Don’t rock your baby, you’re making a rod for your own back”
• “Leave her to cry, if she’s fed and clean she’s had all her needs met”

I’ll elaborate more on my thoughts on all of these in future posts, but each one really grinds my gears!

I found being a Mum tough and around the 3 month mark we came across some breastfeeding issues and my partner was working away for a few weeks at a time. I thought I had this and I didn’t. Luckily I had lots of amazing friends and family to come round and help me but many said things that just didn’t sit right with the way I wanted to parent. Again I’ll say I have nothing against the way others choose to do things, I just know that it’s not my way. I listened though, I tried some things, but most made me feel awful and went against what my instincts were telling me. All of my friends meant very well and were simply sharing what they had found worked for them or what was recommended at the time. I had purchased a couple of books, I’m a natural worrier and I thought that if I tried to learn as much as possible I’d be okay. But the books said the same things. I’d burn that book now if it wasn’t on my iPad. It has survived a car crash, but burning in a blaze of glory might be a bit much for it. The moral of the story is that once I stopped listening to the books (until I found books that supported my views) and started listening to myself and my baby we both became much happier.

These are the things that my blog is going to include about my parenting journey so far:

• Breastfeeding and formula (now on formula)
• Co-sleeping and bed sharing
• Attachment parenting
• Baby wearing
• Baby led weaning
• Miscarriage
• Labour and birth
• How I manage to run a small craft business in 5 minute intervals in the day

I don’t intend this to just be about my new role as a parent. I also want to share my craft business, including tutorials on how to make some of the things I do and I’ll talk about the beautiful place that I call home, The Falkland Islands.

If those things sound like something you’d like to hear and talk about I hope you follow my journey! Excuse me a moment “Bloody hell Milo PUT THAT DOWN” I told you I’d shout at those cats.